Monday, December 5, 2011

Divorce rates

This week we talked about marriage and divorce rates. We talked about predictors of divorce and what are causes leading to divorce. We talked about education, prior divorce, those who marry very young, dual earner households, Parents divorced, culture, finances, and religion. I though it was interesting to learn that those couples who claim atheism are more likely to divorce than those couples who are religious. I think there are many reason for this. I feel that religion gives greater purpose and meaning to life and helps people to be accountable so it generally causes people to strive to grow and to hold themselves to a certain standard. Most standards that serve to nourish and strengthen family relationships and personal progression. I also feel it is because religious people tend to have a greater value for family relationships and growth and are more committed as they see them as a part of a greater plan for life and in some religions even see them as eternal. This can have a great influence in the marriage unit and the function of the family as a whole. Something we also talked about how we view marriage today as that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. This causes a lot of pessimistic views of marriage and I feel cause a lot of people to have fears and reserves for commitment to marriage because of the daunting statistics of divorce rates. In reality Brother Williams pointed out that statistics are in some ways misconstrued. A lot of the statistics are taken also from people the same people who have divorced multiple times which of course increases the divorce rates but doesn’t provide a realistic percentage of each persons likelihood of divorce individual. Its also true that if a person is divorced they are more likely to divorce again. So the truth is considering that Bro. Williams stated that statistics are that 70% of all people who have never divorced before stay together. This to me gives a great deal of a more positive/optimistic outlook on marriage. We need to have society more familiar with all these statistics that show a better reality of divorce rates. I feel it could change a lot of attitudes that exist today as a result of the daunting probabilities that are currently being represented.  

Parenting and responding to children

This week was on parenting. Something that I feel stood out to me was the importance of how parents deal with their children and how it can either negatively or positivley impact them. We watched a video on a son who asked his mother if he could sleep over at his friends house. The mother didnt like his friend because of how he looked and didnt want him being friends with him and so she told him he could go, displaying mistrust in her son and making him feel like she didnt trust his judgement. His reaction was anger and rebellion. Most often this is what I have seen happen, where parents are too overprotective of their children and instead of instilling within them self-esteem and confident and a feeling that they trust them and have good judgmenet and that they believe in them, they make them feel like their not capable of good judgement and dont allow them freedom to make their own decision or proove themselves. We watched another video with the same senerio except the mother showed concern, asked him questions about what he would choose to do based on her concerns and made him aware of her expectations of him and what risks his decisions could result it but she allowed him to decide for himself and then she expressed her confidence in him that he would make the right decisiosn and that he had good judgement and that she trusted him to sleep over and hang out with him. His response was positive and it then put a level of responsibilty on him that would make him more likely to want to keep that trust with his mother. I have seen these resulted time and time again especially in my own extended family and friends. If parents are mistrusting, controlling and overprotective of their children they always tend to rebel and act as they expect them to act and do the very things they mistrust them about whereas parents I know who expressed trust and confidence in their children and taught them and then allowed them to make their own decision those people were always more motivated to live up to waht their parents thought of them and to keep that trust and confidence. Children naturally want to make their parents proud but if they are made to feel bad or that their not capable that is the behavior they will often reflect. To me this is so important to keep in mind when raising childrne and although I know it will be hard, I hope to do everything I can to have confidence in my children and have faith in them and allow them to make their own decisions with my guidance. I hope I always remember that.